While reading George MacDonald several years ago, I came across an astounding thought. You've probably heard that there is in every human heart a place that God alone can fill. (Lord knows we've tried to fill it with everything else, to our utter dismay.) But what the old poet was saying was that here is also in God's heart a place that you alone can fill. "It follows that there is also a chamber in God himself, into which none can enter but the one, the individual." You. You are meant to fill a place in the heart of God no one and nothing else can fill.
He longs for you.
You are the one that overwhelms his heart with just one glance of your eyes (Song 4:9b NKJV). You are the one he sings over with delight and longs to dance with across mountain tops and ballroom floors (Zeph. 3:17). You are the one who takes his breath away by your beautiful heart that, against all odds, hopes in him. Let that be true for a moment. Let that be true of you.
To me, this is absolutely incredible, something I honestly can hardly fathom. I really do wonder, why is it that I make any difference? Why does my existence matter in the least to Him? Is there really any reason I would be important? And yet somehow, I have such a longing for him that when I read this, my heart pounded in my chest! Yeah, yeah - "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so...." But somehow this brings so much more meaning forth, more meaning than that little song could reveal. God wants to romance me. He loves me. It's not something he has to do. John Eldredge even says that it sounds like "because he has to" or meaning "he tolerates you." No. he loves me like a Lover loves. My heart has been so desperate, and I'm just beginning to grasp all this - but my heart is really clawing at this, wanting to take it all in.
You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride
Songs 4:9 NKJV
Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her
Hosea 2:14 NKJV
I have loved you with an everlasting love
Jeremiah 31:3
With all the hurt I've been going through, the hole in my heart that has grown wider over the past year, the want for love - this is exactly what I've been searching for, and he continues to answer me (and my questioning, confused, broken heart) further.
Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way.
She will chase after lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them.
Hosea 2:6-7
This verse has been the story of my life, as of late. I recently (finally) had one of those moments where I just realized that I don't need a guy to feel love, I don't need a man to be romanced. I don't need to wait for a man, and in this moment, I don't want one. Now all I want is for God to take all I am, to romance me, to heal me, make me whole, breathe new life into me and transform me into a new woman. I want to stand by him alone. All this time, this was all I needed to know. And here it is, and he's showing me all I needed to know. He has been answering me in ways I never thought possible - this is the beginning of a wonderful season in my life. It's incredible. That's all I can say, is incredible.
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