Too much.

I feel stuck right now. In so many ways, I feel like I'm at a dead end - but I also feel like there's a really easy way out of these dead ends - I'm just too frustrated to calm down for a moment and consider the options (only to find out the answer is the simplest solution...)

I've not got an apartment when I come back to Regent in the fall (they gave incoming freshman precedence over several juniors and seniors, apparently). While that would have been alright, I never once received any emails telling me one way or another about my housing situation. When I called, I was fussed at and told that I got an email 'the other thursday' (which was not true. I've been haunting my inbox, waiting for that email, as well as calling housing almost every day). So now I'm stuck with trying to find a place to live, or (there is a place I've found that I would like) people to live with me. This has got me pretty worked up, though I know I need to just trust God with it and let Him guide me. Ya, that's still difficult. Especially when parents are nagging about it every moment they remember. It's so prominent in my mind right now that I can focus long enough on more important things, like finishing my term paper for Shakespeare. But I'm still so burned out right now. I'm glad I didn't take any more classes beyond this Shakespeare class. I would have died. The class was enough by itself. I absolutely love Shakespeare - but reading play a day when you're already burned out? Not too wonderful. 

The final is on monday. I'm not too worried about the final exam (I go in and write two long essays on a topic the prof gives us on the spot. I've always been good at this), though this problem of not being able to focus on anything for more than a few short minutes at a time is bothersome. Even more worrisome is that I can't type up more than two or three sentences of my term paper at a time. I've got most of it hand written out, in light blue ink that is almost too light to see. 

There is so much else going on that I don't even know where else to begin or what else to say. Mostly I don't want to share - I just somehow expect people to telepathically know what is going on and then know exactly what to do to remedy whatever is the matter. Of course, thusfar, I have no results. I guess I should meet someone telepathic first ;P  

On a side note, I hate being fed lies, but there two lies I find particularly distasteful. Two lies I see given to so many people, so often. I've been told these lies my entire life. "You're not enough" and "You're too much". I'm not enough, and I'm too much. How does that work? No. Neither of them is true, neither of them is very uplifting, and neither is anything anyone needs to hear. You're not good enough, pretty enough, fast enough, smart enough, talented enough, tall enough, et cetera. or You're just too much. These are hurtful things. What hurts worst is when you get both as a verbal slap at the almost same time - from one person! How confusing is that??

 

On a random note, I'm really intrigued by Harleyquinn's costume. Always have been. I think I might like to sew her costume for myself some time.  ...I'll be your HarleyQ if you'll be my Joker ;)

Oh. And if you still haven't seen The Dark Knight (what gives??) Go see it!! Now! It's all too brilliant. I haven't written about it yet, because I can't keep myself from giving spoilers. And I hate spoilers with a passion.